My ATTEMPT at a Comedy
by Mr Emerid
Summary: This doesn't really focus on Lance, it's Focused on Ash, Misty, and Russell. Plus it was my first attempt at a comedy.


My ATTEMPT at a Comedy.  
  
  
Lance: Alright. Like I said, THIS is the DNA mixing Lab, where we mix the DNA for Special Genetic Pokemon.  
  
Ash: So...Why are we here again?  
  
Lance:(Grumbles) Because Hitmonchan won at Poker and said to let you guy's mess around......I swear this is gonna backfire in my face I know it....  
  
Misty: Really? COOL! We get to Make Pokemon!  
  
Lance: But I refuse to make a habit out of this. ONE POKEMON EACH. Now everyone LINE UP!   
  
(They all stand in front of what look like big glass tubes leading to three Chambers, 154 vials at each one.)  
  
Misty: What are these?  
  
Lance: The vials are all existing Pokemons' DNA.   
  
Ash: And What are these Glass tubes?  
  
Russ: Duh, you pour the DNA GUNK down it and PRESTO! INSTANT POKEMON GELATINOUS MATERIAL FORMED INTO A MORPHOGENIC MATRIX THAT WILL FORM ACCORDINGLY TO THE DNA ADDED AND FORM INTO A COMPLETELY SENTIENT LIFEFORM BASED UPON WHAT DNA WAS ADDED.  
  
Misty:.......What?  
  
Ash: What did he say?  
  
Lance: You pour the red stuff, it goes to the chamber thingies, It turns into Pokemon Jello, then After an hour or More you have instant Pokemon.  
  
Ash: Oh.  
  
Misty:...I knew that.  
  
Lance:(Slaps his face.) This is a bad idea...this is a bad idea.....this is going to go completely screwy.  
  
Ash: Don't you have faith in our abilities? Don't you trust us with this stuff? After All the time we've helped and worked with you after all these years?  
  
Lance: NO.  
  
Ash: Just checking.  
  
Misty: Hmph.  
  
Lance: I'll come back in an hour, TRY not to screw anything up.  
  
Misty: You Can count on us.  
  
Lance: That's what I'm afraid of.  
  
(Lance leaves the lab.)  
  
Russ: I'll start with MUK! (Pours some of the vial down the tube.)  
  
Ash: Oookay....I'll start with....MAGIKARP! (Pours a vial down the tube.)  
  
Misty: What?  
  
Ash: I'm just experimenting.  
  
Misty: Okay......Then I'll start with...Tentacool! (Down the Vial goes.)  
  
Russ: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND TENTACOOLS?  
  
Misty: They're just so cy-ute!  
  
Russ: To maybe a warped, delusional, maniacal psychopath........Makes perfect sense why you like them!  
  
Ash: Hey! Don't insult my wife! Only I May do that!  
  
Russ: Aw Shaddup. My next choice will beeee......Wheezing! (There goes that vial.)  
  
Ash: I'll choose.......Slowpoke! (Down the hatch!)  
  
Misty: Hmm..Big, Dumb, and Dopey, describes you perfectly Ash!  
  
Ash: Yeah? Well.....Well.....DARN! SNAPPY COMEBACKS FAIL ME AT THE MOMENT.  
  
Russ:(Dryly) 'At the Moment' seems to be all of his life.  
  
Misty: Well, It's my turn! I'll use.....Hm...An Electrode! (Dumps that one.)  
  
Ash: Electrode?  
  
Misty: For an Electric Personality!  
  
Russ: Gee, How shocking.  
  
Ash: ......That was a bad Pun.  
  
Russ: Let's see you come up with a better one. Anyway, my next number will be.....Ditto!  
  
Ash: A Muk, Wheezing, and a Ditto? What could that make?  
  
Misty: A....Meeto?  
  
Ash: ......What?  
  
Misty: Forget it.  
  
Ash: Okay....Now I choose.....Psyduck!  
  
Misty: AIIIIHGG! THE FLASHBACKS! THE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FLASHBACKS!  
  
Russ:....You're both freaks you know that?  
  
Ash: We try! (Kisses Misty.)  
  
Russ:.......(Shivers).....That I could've lived without.  
  
Misty: Well, my turn! I'll choose, Horsea! (Pours it.)  
  
Russ: Very.....Noble Choice....if you like Overgrown Goldfish with a Plunger for a nose.  
  
Misty: HEY! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY MALLET!  
  
Russ: (Mimicks her voice) HEY! DON'T MAKE ME USE WARMONGER!  
  
Ash: Moving right along......  
  
Russ: Whatever. Hitmonchan took all my salary for the month at the Poker game and I'm peeved. I choose Scyther as my Next Genetic Gelatine.   
  
Ash: And MYYY next choice is.......KOOEY KOOEY!  
  
Misty: WHAT??  
  
Russ: GEEZ!  
  
Ash: I dunno, that's the label.  
  
Misty: Ugh, anyway, my next choice is...My Mallet! (Manages to stuff it down the tube, Russ and Ash staring dumbfoundedly.)  
  
Russ: How'd she......  
  
Ash: Can she even do that?  
  
Russ: I guess we can add Items too.....  
  
Ash: Cool! I'll put in My old Sock!  
  
Russ: Why the hell would you Put THAT in?  
  
Ash: I dunno....  
  
Misty: The Smell alone would kill a Muk!  
  
(Ash stuffs an old Sock into the Tube.)  
  
Russ: Alright, we each add in one More thing, before this get's TOO gross.  
  
Ash: I go first! I add in, A Foam Baseball bat!  
  
Misty: Utterly and Completely Useless. Sounds Like Ash already.  
  
Ash: Yeah, at least I don't add in a Mallet that has Brock's Drool, Hair, and Blood all over it!  
  
Russ: Ewwwwww.....  
  
Misty: Anyway, my Last choice is KING Kraken!  
  
Ash: What a Big Choice!  
  
Russ: What a...HEY YOU BEAT ME TO IT!  
  
Ash: Ha Ha!  
  
Russ: Now Don't you become Nelson From Simpsons ya hear?  
  
Misty: Who?  
  
Russ: Right, Wrong World, anyway. My Last Choice is Gastly!  
  
Ash:...Wait...How can you get GASTLY DNA if It's a GHOST??  
  
Russ: Don't ask. LONG story.  
  
Misty: Errgh, you two drive me crazy.  
  
Ash:(Whispers to Russell.) Too late.  
  
  
(Two Hours Later.)  
  
(Lance, Hitmonchan, Ash, Misty, and Russ are standing in front of the Chambers.)  
  
Lance: Alright, hitmonchan, go see what Russ has got.  
  
(Hitmonchan opens the Chamber a Crack, we see a Teletubby waving back at him. He quickly slams it Closed and pants.)  
  
Hitmonchan:*IT AIN'T FINISHED BAKING YET!*  
  
Lance: Okay....We'll wait.  
  
(Hour Later)  
  
Lance: Alright, Let's Try again.  
  
(Hitmonchan opens Russells Gene Chamber, revealing Freddy Krueger, only his skin is Slime.)  
  
1st Chamber: FRUEGER!  
  
Lance: What tha f&^*???  
  
Russ: I get's it's a......Frueger Pokemon. C'MERE BUDDY!  
(Frueger Proceeds to Chase Russell, Slashing at him with a Claw.)  
  
Russ: AHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!  
  
Lance:....Moving right along.......  
  
(Hitmonchan opens Ash's, then Screams and jumps into Lance's arms, QUivering in terror. Barney Slowly walks out, laughing.)  
  
Barney: AHYUK AHYUK  
  
Hitmonchan:*IT'S SATAN INCARNATE! KILL IT DADDY KILL IT!*  
  
Ash: I...I think I agree.  
  
Misty: Yah....Please do...with the utmost HASTE...  
  
Lance: In a moment..Let's see Misty's first.  
  
(Lance opens Misty's, where what looks Like a Brock Clone with scales and such looking at her.)  
  
Misty's Gene Pokemon: Will you go out with Me?  
  
Misty: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Slams the Chamber back down and starts shivering as Ash hugs her.)  
  
Barney: I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME.  
  
Hitmonchan:*LEAVE RIGHT NOW. THE UNHOLY PURPLE BUGGER MUST DIE.*  
  
(Hitmonchan pushes everyone out and closes the door. Sounds of utmost pain, screams, and such are heard. Hitmonchan comes back out covered in Purple And Green Blood, Scales all over him, but grinning satisfactory.)  
  
Lance: What'd you do?  
  
Hitmonchan: *Nothing...Nothing at all.*  
  
(Russ walks back into the lab and Screams.)  
  
Russ: WHO'S GONNA CLEAN THIS MESS UP????????  



End file.
